6 steps to build confidence with acne

February 20, 2020

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improve your confidence with acne

Acne is the number one self-confidence killer. How to be confident with acne? Is it possible and what are the steps you need to take to improve your self-esteem while having acne.

Just a few pimples can ruin a person‘s self-esteem in a matter of days.  The consequences can be so great that even after the skin has cleared the confidence someone once had may never return.

What really happens inside the mind of a person suffering from acne know only those who‘ve gone through this. There are days when it‘s hard to get out of bed because looking at the mirror and seeing how bad your skin is breaking out is painful enough.

But there are a few things you can do to improve your confidence while you‘re waiting for the acne to clear up.


A short summary of how to be confident with acne:


1. Don’t make acne part of your identity. You have other positive qualities. Concentrate on them.

2. Change your inner dialogue. Don’t judge and be mean to yourself.

3. Improve your posture and don’t look down when talking to people. Good posture and maintaining eye contact shows you are confident. People would trust you more and like you subconsciously.

4. Nobody is judging you. People have their own insecurities to care about yours.

5. Compliment yourself when looking in the mirror even if you have to fake it at first.

6. Smile. You are beautiful no matter how your skin looks.


Step 1 – Acne is not your identity.

Realize and accept that acne is a transient condition. You were born with clear skin, you have had clear skin for most of your childhood and teenagehood and in the future, you will have clear skin too. It doesn’t matter how bad your skin is now and for how long you’ve had acne. A transient condition is one that doesn’t last long, it doesn’t persist over time.

It’s so easy to become obsessed with your disease and realizing that it’s not something permanent can ease the pain. Another confidence trap is to make acne part of your identity. By doing that you unknowingly prolong its life and make the acne’s stay way more comfortable than it should be. It’s so easy to fall for this trap.

I used to let acne define me and no matter what compliments I always felt I didn’t deserve them because I had acne. The center of attention was my acne and everything revolved around it. I forgot that I had other positive qualities too.

Go outside as yourself and leave the acne at home. It can be on your face but it shouldn’t be on your mind all the time.

Step 2 – Improve your inner dialogue. Be nice to yourself!

You control your acne, not the other way around. Don’t give it a chance to take over. Step number two is to work on your inner dialogue. Meaning what thoughts you entertain during the day.

I know you feel bad, you hate your acne and you’re tired, you just want clean skin. I’ve been there but feeling only the negative is not going to bring you any positive. If you judge yourself, talk mean and only concentrate on how bad your skin looks reinforces that belief and you won’t feel confident.

Start slowly. Spend 15 minutes a day observing your thoughts. If you catch yourself thinking something negative don‘t punish yourself. What I do is gently say to myself that I understand where that thought is coming from but I don’t want to feel that way anymore. I say goodbye and affirm the positive opposite of that thought.

A person who is truly confident likes and considers only pleasant, positive thoughts. Negative thoughts come because we live in a dual world, but what makes negative thoughts a reality is our faith in them.

This is a technique that will not only improve your self-esteem but can erase other unloving beliefs you have.  If you do it every day you will notice that the negative thoughts will diminish little by little and with them, your life will transform for the better.

Step 3 – Better posture and eye contact.

Work on your posture and eye contact. A nice posture gives a signal that the person in front of you is confident and feels good in their body. Stand up straight, don’t arch your back and keep your shoulders upright.

When sitting, keep your back straight, don’t slouch over. This will not only improve your self-esteem but your overall appearance as well.

Maintaining eye contact was really hard for me. Even looking people in the eyes is difficult when you’re afraid that by looking at them they’ll see your acne. Train on people you feel comfortable with like your family, friends and work your way up to waiters and storekeepers. Try not to look down. That shows a lack of confidence and insincerity.

People instinctively think you’re being dishonest and won’t trust you. That brings us to our next point:

Step 4 – Other people are not judging you.

We, in addition to being rulers of our own thoughts, often try to rule others’ thoughts. What do I mean? Well, let’s say you’re passing by someone and that person looks at you. Your first thought is “oh, he probably thinks I look terrible because of my skin”.

And that makes you feel anxious, sad, maybe angry or depressed but in reality nobody said anything. It was all in your head. You planted that seed without knowing if that’s true and the only negative impact it had is on you.

At first glance, it may seem that others are judging you but that so far from the truth. We have already convicted ourselves and sentenced ourselves without them even opening their mouths. Honestly, people have their own insecurities to care about yours.

Most people won’t even remember your face in a few seconds and don’t care about your acne. If you want to be confident you have to stop doing it. Catch yourself and change that thought immediately. “He didn’t even notice my skin or he looked at me because I am pretty.”

You never know what’s on someone’s mind. Maybe that person thought something negative about themselves because they were scared you were judging them. You never know.

Step  5 – Reduce your mirror time.

Spend less time looking at the mirror. Mirrors and acne are not the best of friends. Only one look can send you to a downward spiral.

Don’t check how your skin is every 5 minutes. It’s there, it looks fine, just the same as before. When you actually need to look in the mirror to do your skincare, wash your face and do your makeup, bring your positive thoughts with you.

Enjoy what you see even if you have to fake it in the beginning. Smile, say how beautiful you look today and choose to love yourself. By doing that your confidence will increase and you’ll notice that you feel surprisingly better during the day.

Step 6 – Smile, smile, smile!

It may sound a little corny but it’s very simple. Smile more. A person who smiles is the most beautiful thing. You can’t feel ugly when you smile. No way. Smile when the waiter is bringing your food, when you’re at the cash register, just smile.

All the steps may look artificial at first, you’ll have to force yourself to do them, but if you make them part of your daily life you’ll see a difference in your confidence in a matter of days.

Yeah, there will be days when it’s hard to smile, walk straight, look people in the eyes and your thoughts may not be so loving. Try again tomorrow, and don’t give up. It’s a work in progress.

To summarize:

1. Acne is a transient condition. Don’t make it part of your identity. You have other positive qualities. Concentrate on them.

2. Change your inner dialogue and observe any negative thought patterns. Don’t judge and be mean to yourself. Consider only good beliefs as true.

3. Improve your posture and don’t look down when you talk to people. A good posture and maintaining eye contact shows you are confident. People would like you and trust you more.

4. Nobody is judging you except for yourself. People have their own insecurities to care about yours.

5. Look in the mirror only when you have to. When doing your makeup and skincare love what you see even if you have to fake it.

6. You are beautiful no matter the state of your skin.

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