When you look at the mirror what do you think? Do you like what you see or do you always find things that are not right and you keep judging yourself harshly?
We all lack self-love. Maybe it’s our appearance we don’t like, our character, the way others treat us. Maybe we don’t think we deserve love and compliments.
But we want to enjoy life, be happy and accomplished, smile when we catch a glimpse in the mirror so how do we get there?
I’ll tell you how I found the strength to love myself and improved my confidence.
Hey, guys. I decided to do a challenge and see if I can change the way I see myself because I needed change and I struggled to see my reflection in the mirror.
The experiment in itself is simple. Spend 5 minutes complimenting yourself in front of the mirror for 30 days straight. And that is exactly what I did for the past 30 days. The results surprised me so much that I needed to share them with you.
I was inspired to try this challenge because I felt really unhappy with the way I look.
If this is your first time with me. Hi, I’m glad you’re here. What you need to know is that I have had acne for more than 10 years. It is partly because of my skin picking and the inability to love myself.
During those years I damaged my skin a lot and ended up with scars, hyperpigmentation and a feeling of regret.
I regretted the moments when I hated my skin without realizing how good it really was and that it got so bad because of me. My skin looked like a battlefield and I was on the losing side.
I avoided mirrors with passion and in cases when I would see myself I would get so much anxiety that my whole day was ruined. I basically wanted to disappear.
But I decided that I could no longer live hating myself. I was accomplishing nothing but wasting my most wonderful years complaining in my room and avoiding social contact. Something I once loved. This decision was a turning point in my life and I realized I want to create a safe space for others who feel like me so we can support each other and improve along the way. That‘s how this whole website was born.
I saw a similar experiment somewhere on the Internet and felt that it would be very helpful. If I loved myself, would I really be scared to look in the mirror?
To do the challenge right I set 3 important rules:
1 I had to spend 5 minutes in front of the mirror every day for 30 days. No matter what mood I was in.
2 I had to do it without makeup to deal with myself, not my improved version.
3 I had to say only positive things to myself.
I choose a large mirror so that I could see better and that’s how the experiment started. I didn’t know what would happen, whether I would succeed, I just had to try something.
I set my timer for 5 minutes and stared in my reflection. My hair was tied, I had just woken up and I didn’t have makeup on.
I started complimenting myself, I was telling myself how good my skin was, but while doing it I stared at my eyes and they looked sad. What I was saying was not sincere and I didn’t believe it. Not for one second.
However, I kept saying out loud that I love myself, that I deserve good things. The timer informed me that 5 minutes have passed and I continued on with my day. It may sound funny to some, but I was honestly scared while doing it. I had avoided mirrors for so long that I was scared to face my worst judge – myself.
What was strange was that although I didn’t feel any of the words I was saying to be true, there was a shift in my body already. My posture was better and I wasn’t so anxious.
I set the timer for 5 minutes and I looked at myself. Before starting I felt scared, I was preparing myself mentally as if I was going through a difficult exam, but in fact, it was just 5 minutes in front of the mirror. I said aloud sweet things to my reflection like the first day, quietly with a smile. I said things I had never told myself, encouraging words that I had lost, and in the midst of the challenge, I started crying. Even now, as I write this, I feel the tears coming in.
There I was facing myself, a girl trying to find love, but at the same time, she had hated herself for so many years that this was the first time in a while that she felt respected. The timer informed me that the minutes were up; I wiped my tears and I was in a good mood afterward. When I was passing strangers on the streets, I didn’t think they were looking at me because my skin was not perfect, but because I was smiling.
The third day went according to plan. However, every time before the challenge began, I felt afraid that I had to look at myself but forced myself to smile. I noticed that even though only three days have passed some of the things I didn’t believe in were already starting to seem within reach.
When I told myself that I deserve good things, I felt that it was true. My skin looked different, not physically but emotionally. I could see the scars but I didn’t care that much about them anymore because I knew that sooner or later they would be gone.
What I was seeing was the result of how I was feeling and if I wanted to change what I see I had to change how I feel first.
It’s been a week since the experiment started and I don’t know why, but the biggest difference I notice is in my posture.
I spend a lot of time on the computer and my posture wasn’t the best.
It was still hard to look in the mirror, I kept finding things I liked and didn’t like, but I felt calm as if my inner self was saying no, stop with the hate. We’ll get past that, too.
I felt really proud of myself today. The challenge empowered me because everything I was saying was true. There were negative thoughts trying to take control, saying I was deluded, but I didn’t pay any attention to them. I would never treat another person the way I was treating myself so why was I so mean?
I think it’s better to do the experiment right after waking up. That way you are charging yourself with positive energy and you are too sleepy to criticize thus giving you the opportunity to really feel and believe in the things you say.
I feel great, I’m no longer afraid to look in the mirror. I notice that I look the same on the outside but inwardly I feel different. I used to like socializing and meeting new people but I stopped doing it because I no longer felt confident and beautiful.
Now, I am regaining my confidence and I feel less nervous and anxious. I keep catching myself smiling like a weird person.
My skin is improving. This really confirms to me that our body responds to the thoughts we have and manifests them physically. My skin is not perfect, for those with beautiful skin it may be awful, but most importantly I no longer react negatively to it.
It is what it is now because of previous negative thoughts. If I continue with new good thoughts, my skin would also change in sync with my inner dialogue. I like myself and at this point, I prefer to focus on the good things rather than the bad ones.
I could feel the love pouring out of me. I cried a lot too because the words I was saying felt nice.
What happened after the experiment ended?
At the end of the experiment, I realized something very valuable. I had missed the meaning of it all. I started this challenge with the sole desire to improve my skin instead of wanting to improve myself, to love and accept myself.
There is no need to want to be anything more than what I am right now. Just as the leaves, they don’t want to be big or yellow or green. They simply are.
And the more you put something on a pedestal, the more you focus on something, the further you move away from it. There are so many more important things than having bad skin.
The true meaning of this experiment is to find inner peace and acceptance. Having clear skin is not the goal. Being happy is. Because if you’re unhappy with yourself now, that won’t change when you get clear skin. You’d just find something else to hate on.
My skin has always been a reflection of the inner struggle within me, of the fires I burn because of my passionate nature. My skin is a reflection of my anxiety and my inability to stand still, to be happy instead of always searching for more.
My skin, like yours, is a reflection of that same desire for change but it’s not a change that happens naturally. It’s a desire to be somewhere else, rejecting where you are now and losing yourself in the space of past and future.
Not every day I felt beautiful and liked what I see, and there were days when it was hard for me to look, but I kept complimenting myself. From the worse judge, I became an encouraging friend, the person I was supposed to be all along.
If you decide to do the experiment, follow the instructions, and I think it would be even more powerful if done twice – morning and night.
Compliment yourself on the way you look, talk, your character and everything in between. Say that you deserve the best and do it with a smile and a feeling of excitement and happiness.
Take the challenge and see for yourself, be bold in your words. Try to love yourself and you would see your world transforming before your eyes. Even if you don’t believe anything would change, it’s still a nice first step towards self-love.
I am glad I did the experiment. It was a positive experience and it showed me how important being good to yourself is.
Please tell me in the comments below do you enjoy these types of posts where I do experiments and report back to you and would you like to read more?
Also if you’ve tried the self-love mirror challenge what changes did you see?
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Thank you for reading.